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busby1013Ben Whishaw has presented me with quite a conundrum (besides various malapropisms): he's a perfect example of what I'm calling The Undescended Boyfriend, i.e. the dude you've known about and seen for years but never found yourself particularly attracted to (but more often completely mystified by) until he appears in an achingly explicable role that actually kinda turns you on. Mr. Whishaw is a seminal case for me, since I'm usually deeply aware of my ovarian reactions to certain males.
Exhibit #1: The Introduction
Perfume
He was young, waif-like (and still is), frowny, creepy, but deeply sympathetic in his sociopathic quest to distill the essence of human attraction. This movie clings like the titular eau de toilette, and guaranteed to stay with me, even if I didn't remember his face exactly.
Radar: single, faint blip.
Exhibit #2: The Curiosity
The Hour
A weasly, uber-sharp and clever bastard, still a waif, but a bit more grown up and surrounded by bulging-at-the-seams repressed Brits, he fit right in, but didn't enthuse.
Radar: Bigger blip, blinking steadily for the whole 3 episodes I watched a year ago on Netflix.
Exhibit # 3: The Christ Figure
The Hollow Crown: Richard II
Christ figures are never sexy to me (I mean, please, a man who never wants to bang you doesn't really help much). While Ben was incredibly watchable in his wounded, deliriously self-conscious Richard II, he was unfortunate enough to be totally eclipsed by TOM HIDDLESTON and his Hal in the next few episodes of the series.
Radar: Couple blips.
Exhibit #4: The Brow-Raiser
The Tempest
The sylph of a slave-ghost, Ariel appeared to be a realization of Julie Taymor's Shakespeare-induced fever dream, flitting around in wild-haired, nude incarnations, including a rather evil bird-like creature with tits. Tits. Well, boobies.
Radar: Solid red with a label underneath saying "WTF is all this now?"
Exhibit #5: The Shrug
Cloud Atlas
A quiet, gay musical genius in a time period that doesn't quite realize how much they will absolutely worship quiet gay musical geniuses yet. Emo as hell, but fairly normal-looking.
Radar: Couple more blinks, saying "Oh yeah, he's going to be the next Q."
Exhibit #6: The Nerd Throb
Skyfall
Glasses, a tie, a hipster cardigan, and frankly MYTHICAL HAIR proves to be his most benign and banal costume to date, forcing me to imagine he just stepped out of a TARDIS and into close proximity with an EPICALLY hot James Bond.
Radar: Beeping incessantly with overwhelming urge to… hug him. Just hug him.
My heart aches with the beguiling nature of Mr. Whishaw and his bold, unforgettable roles and puzzling sexuality. He's extremely unique-looking, even more so than Cumberbatch, and definitely a few ticks lower on the classically handsome barometer than even Cumberbatch (but fuck classically handsome, anyway, right?). His hair is delicious, though, and just the mercurial aura about his real personality is enough to daydream about. My desire to bone him is vacillating at best. Mostly I just want to hug him at this point. He's so skinny, dammit.
I kinda hope he is gay, or at least leans into a less obvious spectrum of the Kinsey Scale, just for the flavour. Either way, I'm excited to see what he does in this new series of The Hour, which I gave another chance because of him. I like it more now, and this just adds more data evidence to my other theory that unless I'm attracted to someone in a show, I'm not wasting my time watching it. A bit petty, perhaps, but there it is. Life is short. I want to fill my televisual hours with something yummy.
Exhibit #1: The Introduction
Perfume
He was young, waif-like (and still is), frowny, creepy, but deeply sympathetic in his sociopathic quest to distill the essence of human attraction. This movie clings like the titular eau de toilette, and guaranteed to stay with me, even if I didn't remember his face exactly.
Radar: single, faint blip.
Exhibit #2: The Curiosity
The Hour
A weasly, uber-sharp and clever bastard, still a waif, but a bit more grown up and surrounded by bulging-at-the-seams repressed Brits, he fit right in, but didn't enthuse.
Radar: Bigger blip, blinking steadily for the whole 3 episodes I watched a year ago on Netflix.
Exhibit # 3: The Christ Figure
The Hollow Crown: Richard II
Christ figures are never sexy to me (I mean, please, a man who never wants to bang you doesn't really help much). While Ben was incredibly watchable in his wounded, deliriously self-conscious Richard II, he was unfortunate enough to be totally eclipsed by TOM HIDDLESTON and his Hal in the next few episodes of the series.
Radar: Couple blips.
Exhibit #4: The Brow-Raiser
The Tempest
The sylph of a slave-ghost, Ariel appeared to be a realization of Julie Taymor's Shakespeare-induced fever dream, flitting around in wild-haired, nude incarnations, including a rather evil bird-like creature with tits. Tits. Well, boobies.
Radar: Solid red with a label underneath saying "WTF is all this now?"
Exhibit #5: The Shrug
Cloud Atlas
A quiet, gay musical genius in a time period that doesn't quite realize how much they will absolutely worship quiet gay musical geniuses yet. Emo as hell, but fairly normal-looking.
Radar: Couple more blinks, saying "Oh yeah, he's going to be the next Q."
Exhibit #6: The Nerd Throb
Skyfall
Glasses, a tie, a hipster cardigan, and frankly MYTHICAL HAIR proves to be his most benign and banal costume to date, forcing me to imagine he just stepped out of a TARDIS and into close proximity with an EPICALLY hot James Bond.
Radar: Beeping incessantly with overwhelming urge to… hug him. Just hug him.
My heart aches with the beguiling nature of Mr. Whishaw and his bold, unforgettable roles and puzzling sexuality. He's extremely unique-looking, even more so than Cumberbatch, and definitely a few ticks lower on the classically handsome barometer than even Cumberbatch (but fuck classically handsome, anyway, right?). His hair is delicious, though, and just the mercurial aura about his real personality is enough to daydream about. My desire to bone him is vacillating at best. Mostly I just want to hug him at this point. He's so skinny, dammit.
I kinda hope he is gay, or at least leans into a less obvious spectrum of the Kinsey Scale, just for the flavour. Either way, I'm excited to see what he does in this new series of The Hour, which I gave another chance because of him. I like it more now, and this just adds more data evidence to my other theory that unless I'm attracted to someone in a show, I'm not wasting my time watching it. A bit petty, perhaps, but there it is. Life is short. I want to fill my televisual hours with something yummy.
