Joke # 12

Now it's time to check in with our good friend Stephen Colbert at the Colbert Report: Stephen!

Hi Jon!

Hi Stephen!

Well, Jon, this is the last joke our new writer has to pump out to fulfill the joke-writing challenge she made three weeks ago. What do you think she could possibly dream up for us to discuss?

*Jon shrugs sheepishly* I'm sure I don't know, Stephen, I mean, it may be something simple and concise. I mean, after all these weeks of hard work, she might be tired and-

*In a sensual voice* Oh Jon... Jon, just stop.

What, Stephen?

Jon... you and I, we... can't deny ourselves any longer. *sigh* Let's just come out with it. Right now.

*Jon nods* You're right, my friend.

This thing we've got, it's too big for us to hide. And until now, I felt like everyone could see it except us. We're public figures, and role models for so many like us, and I think we owe it to them to live openly without fear of repercussions.

*Jon stands up behind his desk and takes a deep breath* Stephen, before our audience and the entire TV-watching world, I say with great honor and emotion... that I love you, Stephen Colbert.

*Stephen stands* And I love you, my sweet Jonathan Stewart. And despite your history with Denis Leary, I shall always love you as if you were a virgin to this bodily lust we share.

*Jon wrinkles his brow* Wait... how did our new writer know that?

*Stephen is grinning stupidly, staring into the camera with lovesickness* She didn't.

Well, then how did it show up on your teleprompter?

It didn't.

So, what you're saying is-

My teleprompter is off, Jon. Isn't yours?

*Shakes head slowly* Noooooo...

Don't deny our love now, Jon!

*Sits down slowly, totally confused, then calmly clasps his hands together on top of his desk* Okay, here it is your moment of Zen...

Don't you dare leave me hanging, my love! I will tickle your pupik so hard tonight!