Summer Joke # 5
Sep. 1st, 2009 08:35 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
busby1013This is Cheating Death with Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A.!
First up: Digestive Health!
The latest diet craze touting the benefits of probiotics has led many yogurt companies to market products that are specifically formulated to regulate the digestive processes of the notoriously fickle American gut. But what may be fixed by the yogurt itself is immediately cancelled out by the stomach-churning nausea I get from hearing about Jamie Lee Curtis' irregularity.
Recently, Dannon has been facing a lot of flack for claiming to be the cure-all for colon-related ailments that may actually be the symptoms of serious diseases like IBS or constipation, so the folks at Prescott Pharmaceuticals have developed their own cure-all for colon-related ailments: Vaxactiv!
Vaxactiv contains every pro-biotic known to man, in a combination guaranteed to cleanse your system, one way or another. Or even both.
Side effects may include excessive ear wax sculpturing, intractable ant colonies, restless kidney syndrome, and obligatory lupus diagnoses.*
*Like my random House reference? Yeah? Nerd.
First up: Digestive Health!
The latest diet craze touting the benefits of probiotics has led many yogurt companies to market products that are specifically formulated to regulate the digestive processes of the notoriously fickle American gut. But what may be fixed by the yogurt itself is immediately cancelled out by the stomach-churning nausea I get from hearing about Jamie Lee Curtis' irregularity.
Recently, Dannon has been facing a lot of flack for claiming to be the cure-all for colon-related ailments that may actually be the symptoms of serious diseases like IBS or constipation, so the folks at Prescott Pharmaceuticals have developed their own cure-all for colon-related ailments: Vaxactiv!
Vaxactiv contains every pro-biotic known to man, in a combination guaranteed to cleanse your system, one way or another. Or even both.
Side effects may include excessive ear wax sculpturing, intractable ant colonies, restless kidney syndrome, and obligatory lupus diagnoses.*
*Like my random House reference? Yeah? Nerd.
