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Summer Joke # 8
Sep. 6th, 2009 07:22 pmI found another threat for Stephen to use.
Threat # 3: Harry Potter!
A journalist recently visited the Guantanamo prison facility and reported that out of the 13,500 books in the prison library, the top most requested books were the Harry Potter novels.
Obviously, Gitmo's biggest mistake was collecting books in the first place. Libraries are socialist institutions and should all be replaced by Barnes & Nobles stocked with my book, I Am America(And So Can You!) so people can learn how to be bona-fide Americans.
But this Harry Potter popularity among terrorists is disturbing. For years, J.K. Rowling has been indoctrinating our children and parents' basement-dwellers into the ways of witchcraft and sorcery. And even worse, this isn't even good old fashioned American witchcraft, people, it's BRITISH witchcraft. All we need is for some unhinged terrorist to discover the secret to re-awakening Voldemort. If our only hope against Dementors is a bunch of awkward British wizards who can barely shake a wand to control their teenage hormones much less clean a dorm room, we are totally screwed.
So I say do what you do with everything else the prisoners read with religious devotion: flush them down the toilet. Or use them as target practice. That'll calm them down.
Threat # 3: Harry Potter!
A journalist recently visited the Guantanamo prison facility and reported that out of the 13,500 books in the prison library, the top most requested books were the Harry Potter novels.
Obviously, Gitmo's biggest mistake was collecting books in the first place. Libraries are socialist institutions and should all be replaced by Barnes & Nobles stocked with my book, I Am America(And So Can You!) so people can learn how to be bona-fide Americans.
But this Harry Potter popularity among terrorists is disturbing. For years, J.K. Rowling has been indoctrinating our children and parents' basement-dwellers into the ways of witchcraft and sorcery. And even worse, this isn't even good old fashioned American witchcraft, people, it's BRITISH witchcraft. All we need is for some unhinged terrorist to discover the secret to re-awakening Voldemort. If our only hope against Dementors is a bunch of awkward British wizards who can barely shake a wand to control their teenage hormones much less clean a dorm room, we are totally screwed.
So I say do what you do with everything else the prisoners read with religious devotion: flush them down the toilet. Or use them as target practice. That'll calm them down.
